So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
And then my night got REAL pukey
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
