erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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