i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
