The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Randomize
