Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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