the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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