My first STD was from a foam party
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
