kristin has been a bad kristin
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
