I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
