we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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