State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
