Just mADE A PArabola og urine
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
