The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize