Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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