Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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