How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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