I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
