True but thats because hes a fetus.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
