The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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