their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
