I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Randomize
