so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
