I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
