but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
