the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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