flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
