And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
We got so high we made milksteak
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize