I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
