I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
