If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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