its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize
