i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize