i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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