Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
