Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize