Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
