why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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