Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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