We're like a lot better than the average bears
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
