For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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