I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
