OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
do nipples grow back?
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