ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
