she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
