is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
