She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
