6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i would punch a child for taco bell
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
