Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Im part way to drunk.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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