I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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