so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
