Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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