we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
