I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
