that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
