Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
