I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
