Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
