i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
