All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize