Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
