If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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