I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
