ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
