My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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