How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
