i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
