oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
