Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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