I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
