Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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