Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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