Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
